I ran away for a week and spent some time at Mac’s. It was nice to get away but it made me realize why I left there. And then I get really irritated because we live three hours apart because I can’t stand to live with his adult children who work and could be out on their own but why do that when they can live there for free. I get really angry over that. That and the fact that if he wanted to be with me as bad as he says he does then why doesn’t he push them to go out into the big world and face responsibility and adulthood? I am at a point where I want something more than two weekends a month and I don’t think he is in any hurry.
So I am back home and already miserable. I believe its stress, financial, personal, family, you name it and there is stress involved. I’m pretty certain I am flunking out of algebra; I have no idea how I am going to pay bills this month. I have yet to be released to go back to work (I don’t see the Dr. until the 11th of Aug.) and while applying for SSI I had to ask DSS for help. They want me to work 30 hours a week for the 438$ a month they give me. I have no problem working but if I work without being released by a Dr. and I get hurt I am screwed when it comes to comp or disability. I feel I am constantly fighting. And if the Dr. released me I would work a job, not for DSS making 3.40$ an hour.
Then I get a letter from my ex aka the kids’ dad. He is being released in August instead of January. Joy. I do not want to have to deal with that right now. I haven’t had to deal with him or my feelings about all that happened since he has been gone then smack it hits me in the face and I have to deal.
Then my dad ends up in the ER needing stitches, my sister in law is in the ER dehydrated with her sugar out of control (she will never learn) my grandson is running a temp of 103 and my neighbor is sending me a bill after she cleans her fountain (should take all of five minutes it’s so big) because the kid got some dirt in it grabbing a tadpole out of it!
Oy welcome home!
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